top of page

Ep 8 | Transcript


00:01:15

NARRATOR

In October of 2011, 4 college students disappeared in the woods near Porter Township Pennsylvania while researching a documentary on children’s author Jakob Stanley. They remain missing to this day. Last month their recordings appeared online.


00:01:31

NARRATOR (CONT’D)

In an effort to aid in the investigation, the families of those missing have agreed to release the following sound files. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes. Certain materials referenced in this podcast, including the published works of Jakob Stanley, are currently protected under U.S. copyright law and may be redacted. For legal reasons, some names have been withheld and voices altered. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants, and do not represent the official policy or position of the Iphigenia County Police Department of Porter Township Pennsylvania or its associates. This podcast contains adult themes and language. Listener discretion is advised.


00:02:23

PROFESSOR WHITAKER

File labeled: “008 Rough Cut, Episode 8 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”


SFX: A flutter of cooking activity.


RJ

Could you point out on a map where the Bell tree might be?


MISS LORETTA

Might be? Please. Everyone here knows where that tree is. Give it here. And once you’re up there, you’ll know... you can’t miss it.


AVERY/NARRATION

This morning we ate breakfast in the Homestead kitchen with Miss Loretta. She told us where we could find what is locally known as the “Bell Tree”. RJ’s Trooper reached out to Moira at the Palmer Family Funeral Home and Deb set up a time for us to meet up with Old Man Harker at St. Lucy’s church. Luckily enough, all these places are on, or near, Great Cliff's Peak.


CHUCK

(off mic)

Overlooking the aptly named: Great Cliff’s Peak Creek.


AVERY

(exasperated)

Bah, I was recording.


CHUCK

(off mic)

Oh, sorry.


00:03:19

AVERY

Oh, hey. Would you wanna record more of the VOs?


CHUCK

(off mic)

I hadn’t thought about that... Maybe I could be persuaded to allow you to use my dulcet tones-


AVERY

(shrug)

-Uhg, never-mind.


CHUCK

(off mic)

No. Wait.


[PODCAST INTRO SEQUENCE]


NEWS ANNOUNCER

WN [BEEP REDACTED] TV New York.


MUSIC: [80’s NEWS INTRO THEME]


NEWS ANCHOR ‘83

If your child has been to a school book fair recently, chances are they came home with one of this author’s scary books-


MUSIC: [80’s SUNDAY TALK SHOW THEME]


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

Our guest’s first anthology leapt to the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list -


MUSIC: [LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW INTRO APPLAUSE]


LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Thank you. Thank you! Over the past few years, he has become a household name -


MUSIC: [PODCAST THEME]


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Bridging the gap between Alvin Schwartz and Stephen King -


TV PREACHER

- The devil is among us, friends.


CONGREGATION

AMEN!


TV PREACHER

He’s among us, in the form of a writer. -


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- The book might have struggled during it initial release in 1977, but now “Tell Me A Story: Under the Bed That’s Over My Head”, has skyrocketed -


ALSC COMMITTEE REP

- So many parent organizations complained that his work was too sophisticated for children-


TV PREACHER

- He has infiltrated your homes, and your children’s minds-


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- His second macabre anthology “Tell Me A Story: Moonless Sky and Other Friends” sold out from bookstores in mere minutes. Becoming a controversial -


NEWS ANCHOR ‘83

- Stanley's books ranked on the American Library Association’s “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books” from 1981-1993 -


TV PREACHER

- Stanley’s books promote disobedience, violence and the occult! Lord have mercy -


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- The 3rd volume in his “Tell Me A Story” collection “The Floor That Creaks, the Closet That Speaks and the Tip Toes That You Walk On” was released in 1986 to mass acclaim -


ALSC COMMITTEE REP

- All that fussing, just made his work more popular -


TV PREACHER

- Check your children’s rooms, check their bookshelves, check their back-packs!-


YOUTUBER

- I do think his final book, released in ‘99, “TMAS: The nightmare, The Dream and the Places Between,” was by far his best work.-


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- His work has been described as “subversive” and “dark,” I simply describe it as genius.


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- It is my pleasure to introduce -


LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Please welcome -


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Ladies and gentleman, please welcome -


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- Jakob Stanley.-


LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Mister Jakob Stanley.


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Author, Jakob Stanley.


[Applause.]


MUSIC: [POD THEME SYNTH]


00:05:12

AVERY/NARRATOR

Little to nothing is known about the life of this elusive author. And since 1999 Jakob Stanley seems to have completely dropped off the face of the earth. Until a short two-line obituary appeared in a small town paper, over a year ago.


TOLEN/NARRATOR

From BOO Labs and Red Cup Media, I'm Tolen Reid -


AVERY/NARRATOR

And I'm Avery Fischer, this is TELL ME A STORY: THE TRUE LIFE OF JAKOB STANLEY.


00:05:42

CHUCK

Palmer. Palmer. Palmer. Palmer. Palmer. Palmer.


[Chuck clears throat.]


CHUCK/NARRATION

(over the top smooth)

Well, hello there.


AVERY

(off mic)

Chuck.


CHUCK/NARRATION

Take it easy, I’m just warming up. ... Is this set in stone or?


AVERY

(off mic)

Just hit the main points. ... Tolen’s probably gonna wanna revise everything anyway.


CHUCK

(under breath/catty)

Yeah, no shit.


AVERY

(off mic)

What does that mean?


CHUCK

Come on? ... He’s being way too defensive. I’ll be surprised if any of this sees the light of day.


AVERY

(off mic)

To be fair, it is a lot of rumors and secondhand info.


CHUCK

You know he lied to Whitaker, right? About what we’ve found out so far?


AVERY

(off mic)

Did he lie, or did he omit?


CHUCK

Uh. A) They’re the same thing and B) He did both.


00:06:28

AVERY

(off mic)

Okay, no... I get what you’re saying. I just think he wants to be super careful because once that toothpaste is outta the tube, you know? - Look can we just crank these out before they get back. There’s like four of these I wanna finish.


CHUCK

Yeah, sure. ... Okay.


[Chuck clears throat.]


CHUCK/NARRATION

We started our day at the Palmer Family Funeral Home and Crematory.


MUSIC: [INTENSE DRAMATIC ORGAN MUSIC]


PALMER FAMILY FUNERAL HOME VM

(over phone line)

Welcome to the Palmer Family Funeral Home and Crematory, overlooking the Iphigenia Great Cliff’s Peak. Proudly serving the families of Porter Township with compassion and dignity for almost a century. No one is currently available to take your call. If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911, otherwise stay on the line.


SFX: Beep.


00:07:27

AVERY

(off mic)

God, I wanna make that my ringtone.


SFX: RJ knocks on the front door of the funeral home.


AVERY (CONT’D)

Should we just go in?


TOLEN

No, give it a sec...


SFX: RJ rings the doorbell.


AVERY

Ugh... Come on.


SFX: RJ knocks again on the front door.


RJ

I don’t think anyone’s here.


TOLEN

Shit, really?


RJ

Yeah, I can’t see anyone in there.


AVERY

Damn it.


CHUCK

I bet Trooper Dickwad didn’t even call her.


RJ

He said it was all set up.


AVERY

Are we late? Or early?


RJ

There wasn’t an exact time, just to stop by. ... Should we wait?


CHUCK

I’m not doing that, it’s cold as balls out here. Damn, I wish I could find those gloves.


SFX: The team trudges down the wooden front steps.


AVERY

We can always go interview Harker and just come back here afterwards.-


TOLEN

What if we miss Moira?


CHUCK

Man, the church is right there, we can see anyone coming up this road.


SFX: Voice altered, name redacted.


[BEEP] PALMER

Hey!


SFX: [BEEP] Palmer’s voice is altered in post and name redacted.


RJ

Who’s that?


00:08:22

[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Dropping off or picking up?


AVERY

What?


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Dropping off or picking up?!


AVERY

No we’re not here for... uh -


RJ

Hiyah, I’m RJ. Uhm, Trooper [BEEP] said he was going to contact Moira Palmer about an interview today?


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Why would you want to interview my mom?


AVERY/NARRATION

This [BEEP] Palmer. The daughter of Moira Palmer of the Palmer Family Funeral Home and Crematory. She’s a pouty goth Norwegian black metal head whose look screams “I will set you on fire.”


TOLEN

Uh, is she here?


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

No. Grandma’s boyfriend is in the hospital again, so she left last night.


RJ

Oh, shit. I’m sorry.


AVERY

Is she gonna be back soon or?


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Not sure.


00:09:10

AVERY

Damn it, okay thanks. Can you tell her that... you know what, we’ll get back with her later. Thanks.


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Trooper [BEEP] is a monosyllabic turd, why’d he set this up?


AVERY

(to herself)

Honestly, I don’t know anymore.


RJ

He was just calling in a favor for us.


TOLEN

We’ll circle back to your mom later, thank you.


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

What’s all that stuff for?


CHUCK

It’s gear -


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Duh, but what’s it for?


TOLEN

(quietly to team)

How we playing this: BOO, or Stanley?


RJ

Uh, I do a ghost hunting show called BOO. We filmed at the Mendenhall the other day and this would be like part 2 of that?


[BEEP] PALMER

(in the distance)

Oh, cool.


AVERY

We’re also doing a documentary podcast on Jakob Stanley, I don’t know if you’ve heard of him or whatever?


TOLEN

What are you doing?


AVERY

Shhh.


SFX: [BEEP] Palmer bounds from the side of the house towards them.


[BEEP] PALMER

You mean like the writer Jakob Stanley?!


AVERY

(fake cool)

Yeah, the writer. You guys embalmed him here or something? But, it would have been under the name Russell Stanley.


[BEEP] PALMER

THAT WAS HIM!! That Russell guy?!


00:10:01

AVERY

I had a feeling she was a fan.


[BEEP] PALMER

I had no idea!


TOLEN

She’s a kid, Avery.


[BEEP] PALMER

Oh my God! I can’t believe it. This is literally the coolest thing that has ever happened to me.


AVERY

You remember him coming in?


[BEEP] PALMER

Totally, cuz’ it was like right when we moved to this town of inbred fucks.


AVERY

Oh, and the vandalism stuff happened. Yeah, Troop Dick-nuts mentioned that.


[BEEP] PALMER

Of course he did. Fucking tool.


AVERY

Right.


[BEEP] PALMER

But also I remember it cuz’ it was like, majorly sad.


AVERY

Oh, why was that?


[BEEP] PALMER

They just found him in his house, alone. Mom said he coulda been dead for weeks.


AVERY

So, you were here when Stanley came in? Did you actually like see him or...?


[BEEP] PALMER

Oh, ho, ho, yeah I did! I even assisted on that one.


TOLEN

Sure you did. Avery knock it off. She’s like 14.


[BEEP] PALMER

Uh, I’m 18.


TOLEN

Right, you’re 18.


[BEEP] PALMER

Yes, asshole and I turn 19 next week.


00:10:53

AVERY

Sorry, he’s a bit prickly. I’m Avery, that’s Chuck, and this little cactus is Tolen.


TOLEN

I don’t like this.


AVERY

It’s fine, Tolen.


[BEEP] PALMER

Yeah, it’s fine, Tolen.


AVERY

So, is there some place we can

talk?


TOLEN

Shit.


MUSIC : [POD THEME]


00:11:09

AVERY/NARRATION

After our experience at the Palmer Family Funeral Home, we jumped in the car to warm up and... process the information we had just received. You see, there was supposed to be an interview here, but no one felt comfortable leaving it in, because of the questionable age of the interviewee. So, it was cut. But, for some reason they were still comfortable with using the death certificate she provided, so hey whatevs. ... Just making up our own rules.


SFX: A strong wind whistles through the car. Someone cracks open a soda can. Tolen sits and closes his car door.


00:11:51

TOLEN

Right, [Clears throat]

So... here it is:

(Reading)

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Department of Health Vital Statistics Certificate of Death. Death Occurred in: Iphigenia County. City or borough of: Porter Township. Full name of Hospital or Institution: At Home. Name of deceased: Russell Jakob Stanley. Date of Death: August 28, 2009

- Da-da-da-da... Informants name: - Da-da-da-da... Cause of death:

Death was caused by: immediate cause A: cardiac arrest/NA, due to B: NA. Interval between onset and death: NA. Was autopsy performed: No. ... And... that’s basically it. ... Hum.


00:12:44

AVERY

Hummm. Still sure you wanna get rid of that interview?


TOLEN

Avery.


SFX: Avery shifts aggressively in her seat.


AVERY

Fine, shit, delete it.


RJ

But, just because we delete the interview doesn’t mean we can’t use the information from it, right?


TOLEN

I mean, I guess?


AVERY

Oh, you’re good with that, though?


TOLEN

What is with you?


AVERY

You’re being all Judgey Judgerson.


TOLEN

I am not being all Judgey Judgerson-


AVERY

You said I “inappropriately exploited a minor”.


TOLEN

Well, you did!-


RJ

GUYS STOP! ... Just talking through this out loud... So, based on what [BEEP] said... when Stanley’s body was discovered, he was in the advanced stages of decomp-


TOLEN

Past rigor mortis, past bloat-


RJ

- But an autopsy was not requested by police and Moira didn’t want to rock the boat to push for one because she was already being harassed, so it didn’t happen.


TOLEN

Yeah. And - if [BEEP] is to be believed - the body was so badly decomposed that he could only be ID-ed by the wallet in his pocket.


CHUCK

Well, he was in his house?


TOLEN

Right, but it’s just weird they never got confirmation. Here’s a body so badly decomposed it can’t be visually identified and they don’t do an autopsy? Or at least a DNA test of some kind?


00:13:51

AVERY

There is a lot of “NA” on that death certificate? Cause of death was “cardiac arrest/NA”? I have a feeling that’s what they put down when they don’t know.


TOLEN

Exactly! Which goes back to, why wasn’t there an autopsy or DNA test? ... Was it even Stanley?


CHUCK

He was an old man, alone, in his own house?


AVERY

Speaking of old man... Do we think that’s Harker?


RJ

One way to find out.


SFX: RJ opens her car door and the mic cuts.


MUSIC: [POD THEME]


00:14:18

AVERY/NARRATION

After our lively debate, we walked over to Old Man Harker’s place of work, St. Lucy’s Church. I would describe the architecture as ... dilapidated gothic meth den? Which I’m pretty sure it was a mere few days from completely falling in on itself creating some sort of a hell mouth to the center of the Earth. ... But, I digress, Harker, aka Old Man Harker - we still don’t know his first name - was... uh, a cross between the creepy old man in Poltergeist and the Tall Man from Phantasm, but ... nice? Although once we dropped Stanley’s name, he turned cold. Then, after a lot of convincing and dare I say it, crafty manipulation? He eventually acquiesced.


CHUCK/NARRATION

However, when he finally allowed us to record, he spoke so quietly that the mics barely picked him up... So, this is the section we could clean up the best:


SFX - The sound of the echoey old church hums in the background, almost over-powering Harker’s voice entirely.And there are several cats who comment frequently in the background. Old Man Harker’s voice is altered in post.


00:15:13

OLD MAN HARKER

“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” I suppose Rockland brought me up because of Lavinia.


AVERY

(off mic)

Lavinia?


OLD MAN HARKER

Oh, Lavinia was just about the best friend I ever had. The most beautiful hair ya ever did see. And fast.


AVERY

(off mic)

“Fast”?


OLD MAN HARKER

Run like the wind,... When I’s a boy, sometimes we would go to the orchard, and I’d stand up on her back and grabs apples right outta the tree. We’d eat so many we’d get sick.


SFX: Slight burst of static.


AVERY

(off mic)

So, Lavinia was your horse?


OLD MAN HARKER

Oh, yes ma’am. The best horse.


AVERY

(off mic)

So, Rockland suggested we contact you about Stanley because of Lavinia?


OLD MAN HARKER

I suppose. [unintelligible mumble] But...uh... I don’t know.


AVERY

(off mic)

It’s ok, take your time.


OLD MAN HARKER

Lavinia she was... Lavinia she was... uh, she passed on... right in her prime.


AVERY

(off mic)

Oh, I’m so sorry.


SFX: Slight burst of static.


OLD MAN HARKER

It was a long time ago now, but [unintelligible mumble].


SFX: Slight burst of static.


OLD MAN HARKER (CONT’D)

Coyotes got to her. That’s what I thought. It’s what it looked like. Other farms had livestock attacked. It musta’ been coyotes. [unintelligible mumble] But, some, some thought different. ... “With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.” Proverbs 11 verse 9. [unintelligible mumble]


SFX: Slight burst of static.


00:17:33

AVERY

(off mic)

-Sorry, Mr. Harker. I’m not quite sure what you’re telling us?


OLD MAN HARKER

I am telling what I know.


SFX: Slight burst of static.


AVERY

(off mic)

Uh, wel-


SFX: Slight burst of static.


OLD MAN HARKER

-It was them other folks said different.


AVERY

(off mic)

What did they say?


OLD MAN HARKER

People, ya know, need to blame. That’s when trouble starts. And it all ends up going nowhere and doing no one no good. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth-


SFX: Slight burst of static.


AVERY

(off mic)

I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you're saying.


OLD MAN HARKER

I said what I said. They said what they said.


AVERY

(off mic)

And what did they say?


OLD MAN HARKER

The Lord don’t like a gossip.


SFX: Chuck steps forward.


CHUCK

(off mic)

Avery, side bar?


AVERY

(off mic)

Excuse me.


SFX: Chuck and Avery whisper to the side. Avery returns to Harker.


00:18:41

AVERY (CONT’D)

(off mic)

Okay, so. Uh. Let me see if I got this.


OLD MAN HARKER

Yes, ma’am.


AVERY

(off mic)

Your horse Lavinia was attacked by coyotes?


OLD MAN HARKER

Other farms too.


AVERY

(off mic)

And other farms too? Okay. But folks in town didn’t think it was coyotes?