Ep 14 | TRANSCRIPT



00:00.912

ANNOUNCER

For information on upcoming episodes, merch, and other ways to support the podcast, follow us on Instagram @JacobsStanleypodcast or on Twitter @InappropriateF and check out our website, jakobstanley.com to submit your own story to the podcast.


00:22.012

BARKBOX

Got a doggo and wanna support the poddo? Use the affiliate link in our show notes BarkBox.com/jakobstanley, that’s Jakob with a “K” and sign up for BarkBox! Each month BarkBox brings your dog more than $40 worth of toys, treats and chews tailored especially for your pup, curated from each month's unique themed collection. Is your puppers is into Stranger things? Would they dig some Beggo Waffles, or a Demo bat? Maybe they prefer the Wizarding World of Harry Potter? And want a sorting hat or Hedwig of their very own. So, click on the link in our show notes barkbox.com/jakobstanley that’s Jakob with a “K” or go to our website jakobstanley.com and use the link provided to help support our pod and bring monthly dog joy right to your door. OH! And by using our link you get an additional month FREE! That's barkbox.com/jakobstanley.


01:09.150

NARRATOR

In October of 2011, 4 college students disappeared in the woods near Porter Township Pennsylvania while researching a documentary on children’s author Jakob Stanley. They remain missing to this day. Last month their recordings appeared online. In an effort to aid in the investigation, the families of those missing have agreed to release the following sound files. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes. Certain materials referenced in this podcast, including the published works of Jakob Stanley, are currently protected under U.S. copyright law and may be redacted. For legal reasons, some names have been withheld and voices altered. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants, and do not represent the official policy or position of the Iphigenia County Police Department of Porter Township Pennsylvania or its associates. This podcast contains adult themes and language. Listener discretion is advised.


02:16.875

PROFESSOR WHITAKER

Folder labeled: “014 Rough Files, Episode 14 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”


02:32.855

PODCAST INTRO SEQUENCE


NEWS ANNOUNCER

WN [BEEP REDACTED] TV New York.


MUSIC: [80’s NEWS INTRO THEME]


NEWS ANCHOR ‘83

If your child has been to a school book fair recently, chances are they came home with one of this author’s scary books-


MUSIC: [80’s SUNDAY TALK SHOW THEME]


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

Our guest’s first anthology leapt to the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list -


MUSIC: [LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW INTRO APPLAUSE]


LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Thank you. Thank you! Over the past few years, he has become a household name -


MUSIC: [PODCAST THEME]


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Bridging the gap between Alvin Schwartz and Stephen King -


TV PREACHER

- The devil is among us, friends.


CONGREGATION

AMEN!


TV PREACHER

He’s among us, in the form of a writer. -


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- The book might have struggled during it initial release in 1977, but now “Tell Me A Story: Under the Bed That’s Over My Head”, has skyrocketed -


ALSC COMMITTEE REP

- So many parent organizations complained that his work was too sophisticated for children-


TV PREACHER

- He has infiltrated your homes, and your children’s minds-


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- His second macabre anthology “Tell Me A Story: Moonless Sky and Other Friends” sold out from bookstores in mere minutes. Becoming a controversial -


NEWS ANCHOR ‘83

- Stanley's books ranked on the American Library Association’s “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books” from 1981-1993 -


TV PREACHER

- Stanley’s books promote disobedience, violence and the occult! Lord have mercy -


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- The 3rd volume in his “Tell Me A Story” collection “The Floor That Creaks, the Closet That Speaks and the Tip Toes That You Walk On” was released in 1986 to mass acclaim -


ALSC COMMITTEE REP

- All that fussing, just made his work more popular -


TV PREACHER

- Check your children’s rooms, check their bookshelves, check their back-packs! -


YOUTUBER

- I do think his final book, released in ‘99, “TMAS: The nightmare, The Dream and the Places Between,” was by far his best work.-


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- His work has been described as “subversive” and “dark,” I simply describe it as genius.


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- It is my pleasure to introduce -


LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Please welcome -


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Ladies and gentleman, please welcome -


SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- Jakob Stanley.-


LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Mister Jakob Stanley.


PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Author, Jakob Stanley.


[Applause.]


MUSIC: [POD THEME SYNTH]


04:12.000

AVERY/NARRATOR

Little to nothing is known about the life of this elusive author. And since 1999 Jakob Stanley seems to have completely dropped off the face of the earth. Until a short two-line obituary appeared in a small town paper, over a year ago.


TOLEN/NARRATOR

From BOO Labs and Red Cup Media, I'm Tolen Reid -


AVERY/NARRATOR

And I'm Avery Fischer, this is TELL ME A STORY: THE TRUE LIFE OF JAKOB STANLEY.


SFX: The loud sound of a car crash comes in and immediately is cut off by a flash back.


CHUCK

We’ll have service when we get back on the interstate.


04:50.787RJ

Thank God.


TOLEN

My phone is at the ready!


AVERY

No. No phone for you, you drive.


TOLEN

No comment from you, you edit.


RJ

Does she have the memory card from this?


TOLEN

Yes, I just put a new one in.


CHUCK

Good, we wouldn’t want to miss a word.


TOLEN

It’s a PODCAST, Chuck.


SFX: The sound distorts. The mic pops on, post car crash, the H4N sustained a bit of damage.


SFX: Tolen, RJ, Avery and Chuck begin coming to, inside the wrecked car. Broken glass tinkles with their every movement.


SFX: Tolen finds the H4N in the wreckage and grabs it.


TOLEN

Fuck.


SFX: Tolen and RJ slowly pull themselves out of the car. They both try to coax Avery and Chuck out of the totaled car.


RJ

Shit.


06:53.487

TOLEN

Avery...Avery.


AVERY

What?


RJ

Hey Chuck.


TOLEN

Come on out this side.


AVERY

What?


RJ

Chuck.


TOLEN

Come on, this way.


AVERY

What?


RJ

CHARLES.


CHUCK

No, I’m good.


TOLEN

Avery, please.


AVERY

Mom, stop it.


RJ

Charles, come on, buddy, have to get you out of here.


TOLEN

Avery.


AVERY

Be there in a second.


TOLEN

Come on.


AVERY

I’m comin’, I’m comin’.


TOLEN

That’s it.


SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.


SFX: Tolen helps Avery crawl across the seat and out of the car and on to the street.


RJ

Chuck, can you do me a favor, wiggle your feet for me. Good job. Come on. This way.


CHUCK

Okay.


SFX: RJ helps Chuck crawl across the seat and out of the car and on to the street.


AVERY

Oh, hey, it’s Chuck. How you doing?


CHUCK

I’m okay. You?


AVERY

I’m okay.


SFX: RJ pulls out a first aid kit from the car.


RJ

No, you’re not.


AVERY

Oh.


SFX: RJ riffles through the first aid kit.


RJ

Tolen, you-


SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.


TOLEN

I’m fine, really. Just in a little shock. Are they...


07:37.710

RJ

I’m about to try to find out.


TOLEN

Okay.


RJ

Can you find their water bottles?


TOLEN

Yeah, yeah.


SFX: Tolen goes to the trunk and starts looking for their water bottles.


RJ

You guys remember what just happened? ... Okay, I want you guys to do me a favor and Avery I want you to remember the word banana. You got it?


AVERY

Banana.


RJ

Chuck, I want you to remember the word gummy bear.


CHUCK

Gummy bear.


TOLEN

Check. Check...


SFX: Tolen talks quietly into the H4N while we hear RJ talk to Chuck and Avery in the background.


TOLEN (CONT’D)

Uh, the time is... uh, my phone is smashed... shit. Uh, okay... We have just had a slight car accident. A tree fell into the road, bisecting it. Uh, the brakes were hit a little late and the car fishtailed and swung around and the passenger side hit the tree. RJ is checking on Chuck and Avery right now.


RJ

Okay, good. Chuck, can you look at me? ... Okay, straight forward, now I’m gonna flash this... in your eyes really fast. Okay, good job. Avery, your turn. Can you look at me? Straight forward, now I’m gonna flash this in your eyes really fast, I know that was bright, I’m sorry. Okay, guys. Both of you, can you smile for me? Good. Now what were the words I told you to remember?


SFX: Tolen has grabbed the water and is standing behind RJ.


08:53.402

AVERY

Banana.


RJ

Good.


CHUCK

Gummy bear.


RJ

Good. Do you know where we are?


CHUCK

Bum-fuck nowhere.


AVERY

Porter Township.


RJ

Good. Chuck, what state are we in?


CHUCK

Pennsylvania.


RJ

Okay, do you guys remember what just happened?


AVERY & CHUCK

Car accident.


RJ

Alright, good. Now besides your-


SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.


CHUCK

Nauseous... and dizzy.


AVERY

Same... and my head hurts.


CHUCK

Same.


SFX: Tolen passes RJ the water. She gives it to Avery and Chuck.


09:20.937

RJ

Okay, drink some water. I’m gonna talk to Tolen really quick.


AVERY

Wait. Are you guys hurt?


TOLEN

I’m fine, Avery. Just a little banged up.


RJ

I’m okay, don’t worry.


AVERY

Okay.


CHUCK

[Yawn] Thank you.


RJ

And don’t let each other fall asleep, okay? No sleep right now.


AVERY

Okay.


CHUCK

[Yawning] Okay.


RJ

CHUCK.


CHUCK

Okay, but only cause you asked nicely.


RJ

Come on, let’s see what you did.


TOLEN

Do we have to?


RJ

Go!


SFX: RJ and Tolen walk to the other side of the car to inspect the crash.


09:55.737

TOLEN

Holy shit.


RJ

Well this won’t be driving any time soon.


TOLEN

I was afraid of that. Should we try to move it? - Or not. That was stupid. Stupid thing... to say. You really alright?


RJ

Yeah, I think so. Their side of the car bore the brunt of it.


TOLEN

Are they okay?


RJ

They got their bells rung. Avery has a black eye and Chuck is cut up from the window, but I think they’re gonna be okay. We have to get them to a hospital, though.


TOLEN

But, they’re okay? Oh, thank God. I was worried there for a second.


RJ

Oh, no. You should still be worried. They are definitely concussed. They need a hospital.


TOLEN

I mean, but they were talking and everything?


RJ

Sure they’re talking, but that doesn’t matter. Do you see a CT scan around here? MRI? - They have the pupils of Anime characters right now. Fucking hell Tolen, you could have killed us!


10:43.950

TOLEN

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean... I’m sorry.


RJ

How in the hell did this big ass tree come down?


TOLEN

There’ve been a lot of storms?


RJ

FUUCCCK. ... Okay, so how far of a walk is it to Wallace’s from here?


TOLEN

A mile or so? It’s quicker to cut straight through the woods.


RJ

Of course it is. Okay, I’ll go. You watch them.


TOLEN

Me and Chuck are the only ones that know how to get to Wallace’s from here?


RJ

Fine, then you go.


TOLEN

What? Like by myself?


11:27.537

RJ

I will fucking smack you.


AVERY

You both should go.


TOLEN

Shit, you scared me.


AVERY

Sorry.


RJ

No, Avery, I really think you should have someone here, just in case.


CHUCK

Really, we’re better. Not walk a mile better, but way better. Think a lot of that was shock.


AVERY

And I would feel less nervous if you both went. It’s starting to get dark and we all know about Tolen’s sense of direction.


RJ

Are you sure?


CHUCK

Yes. Please go, we’ll be okay.


RJ

It’s getting cold.


AVERY

The car isn’t on fire or anything, right? We’ll just sit inside and wait.


CHUCK

It’s not a big deal. And who knows someone might come by-


AVERY

- OH SHIT, MY LAPTOP!


SFX: Avery skitters to the driver’s side door and dives inside.


RJ

Watch out for the... glass.


12:09.912

TOLEN

She’s feeling better.


AVERY

Thank you, Jeebus!


TOLEN

We good?


SFX: Tolen walks to the driver’s side door as Avery opens her laptop and beings typing. Tolen absentmindedly places the H4N on the roof of the car.


AVERY

Yes, just checking the drive... now... aaannnd.... YES! We are good!... Oh, I was in the middle of...


SFX: Avery trails off, putting on her headphones and closing the car door.


TOLEN

Okay, so she’s fine.


RJ

That tells us nothing. Bitch could edit with her hair on fire.


CHUCK

What about the walkies? If you take one and we have one, you can harass us the entire time you’re gone.


RJ

Right, they’re in the trunk.


TOLEN

I’ll get them.


SFX: Tolen goes to the trunk to grab the walkies.


RJ

OH, and grab the bear spray.


TOLEN

Right!


RJ

Pinky swear you’re okay?


CHUCK

Pinky swear.


SFX: Tolen comes back with the walkies and bear spray.


TOLEN

Here’s your walkie.


SFX: He hands one walkie to Chuck and the other one to RJ.


TOLEN

And, your bear spray.


SFX: Tolen passes Chuck a can of bear spray.


CHUCK

Oh goodie.


RJ

Hey, Avery.


AVERY

What?


RJ

Fuck it. - Okay. Let’s go.


CHUCK

We’ll be here.


SFX: Chuck sits down in the backseat.


13:04.437

RJ

Gonna randomly beep you.


CHUCK

Oh, but I was planning on taking a nap.


RJ

That’s not funny you little shit.


CHUCK

But, I’m so ‘sweepy.


RJ

Asshole.


CHUCK

Get the hell out of here. Go.


SFX: Chuck shuts her door and Tolen and RJ take off into the night.


CHUCK

Maybe, I’ll just rest my eyes... for a second.


SFX: Suddenly, there is a rapping on the window that causes Chuck to jump.


CHUCK

GOD WHY!


TOLEN

Sorry, sorry. I almost forgot. Avery, ah, here is the memory card from the car ride, before the crash. I put a new one in the H4N when we came to.


AVERY

Ooooooh, you have a recording of the crash?


TOLEN

Hopefully.


CHUCK

What is wrong with you people?


TOLEN

Might wanna check on it, and make sure it wasn’t damaged. Oh right, and the one that’s in there now. Not sure if it is working properly.


AVERY

Where is it?


SFX: Tolen looks and grabs the H4N from the car roof and passes it to her. It rustles around in their hands.


TOLEN

Uh. Here.


13:52.437

AVERY

Do you want to take it with you?


TOLEN

No, keep it here with you. Dump the cards and start recording again.


CHUCK

We’ve been concussed and you’re giving her an assignment?


AVERY

Oh, if they take us to a real hospital, we’ll be able to upload there. Perfect.


CHUCK

Unbelievable.


AVERY

What will you guys use to record?


TOLEN

Uh... I’m gonna have to convince RJ to use her phone. Mine is smashed.


RJ

Tolen! Come on, it's getting dark!


SFX: Tolen starts trotting over to RJ.


AVERY

Good luck.


TOLEN

Stay safe you two. Help is on the way.


SFX: Tolen slightly trips over his own feet on that last line.


CHUCK

We’re so gonna die out here.


SFX: The H4N is cut off.


SFX: The mic pops on, it cuts in and out a few times. The H4N sustained a bit of damage from the crash.


CHUCK

Check, check, check. ... Check, check check...


SFX: The H4N beeps.


CHUCK

This thing is on its last legs-


SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.


14:46.400

CHUCK

Well, hello there lovely listeners. It has been roughly 30-40 minutes since RJ and Tolen skittered into the dark. RJ stopped buzzing us about 10 minutes ago, so either they are out of range or already with Wallace. Avery-


SFX: Avery is typing in the background.


AVERY

What?


CHUCK

- And myself have been waiting patiently in the car for their return.... Well, I have been waiting patiently, Avery-


AVERY

Huh?


CHUCK

-Has been in full-tilt edit mode, apparently unaffected by the fact that we are sitting in a wrecked car in the middle of the road. I’m not even sure she knows I am still here.


AVERY

Not unaffected, just unhealthily using work as a coping mechanism for emotional avoidance.


15:31.275

CHUCK

Sorry, didn’t think you could hear me.


SFX: Avery pulls off her head phones.


AVERY

I recognize we are sitting in a wrecked car in the middle of the road after a pretty decent car accident... But in this moment, this is the only thing I have any control over, so...


CHUCK

Fair.


AVERY

You wanna hear the car crash?


CHUCK

Uh, fuck no.


AVERY

Oh... I just thought it was interesting. ... Hey, right before the crash, you guys were talking about the illustrations from the unpublished manuscript. Do you remember that?


CHUCK

Not really?


AVERY

How the FMC folio was - wait let me just... here.


CHUCK

I’ll listen but -


AVERY

I promise, I’ll cut it off before it happens. Okay?


16:17.700

CHUCK

Sure.


SFX: Avery hits play on the recording from before the crash.


RJ

You know, this art from the FMC - if you take away the grizzly content, and just go by the illustrator’s style... it does look similar to the artwork from Stanley’s last published book?


CHUCK

I don’t know if I see it.


TOLEN

Oh! I have my copy of the last book, it’s in my bag, behind the seat.


RJ

Kay.


TOLEN

Yeah, in the front pocket.


SFX: RJ pulls out Tolen’s well worn copy of Jakob Stanley’s final published book.


RJ

I don’t know, Chuck, look at this one.


CHUCK

Humm.


TOLEN

What?


RJ

You see it?


CHUCK

Interesting.


TOLEN

What? Are they similar? Let me see.


CHUCK

I mean...


SFX: Chuck jumps in, remembering the crash.


CHUCK

- Stop. You can stop it now.


SFX: Avery pauses the playback.


AVERY

Do you remember that?


CHUCK

I do now.


AVERY

Do you have any of the pics on your phone? Or are they all on RJ’s?


CHUCK

All on RJ’s.


17:11.570

AVERY

Damn it. Ah, well.


CHUCK

Have you checked the video?


AVERY

What video?


CHUCK

The one from last night.


AVERY

Oh, right!


CHUCK

Tolen was all over the background with the manuscript. May I?


AVERY

Yeah sure.


SFX: Avery passes her computer to Chuck who opens the video file.


17:30.825

CHUCK

There was a point where I think he was sitting with it open and we might be able to... let me see.


SFX: Chuck scrubs through the video and hits play on the recording from the night before.


SFX: The video on Avery’s computer from the previous night begins to play. The quality of the recording is low.


TOLEN

Oh yeah. Don’t worry about it.


CHUCK

I don’t know how you can even read right now?