00:00.912
ANNOUNCER
For information on upcoming episodes, merch, and other ways to support the podcast, follow us on Instagram @JacobsStanleypodcast or on Twitter @InappropriateF and check out our website, jakobstanley.com to submit your own story to the podcast.
00:22.012
BARKBOX
Got a doggo and wanna support the poddo? Use the affiliate link in our show notes BarkBox.com/jakobstanley, that’s Jakob with a “K” and sign up for BarkBox! Each month BarkBox brings your dog more than $40 worth of toys, treats and chews tailored especially for your pup, curated from each month's unique themed collection. Is your puppers is into Stranger things? Would they dig some Beggo Waffles, or a Demo bat? Maybe they prefer the Wizarding World of Harry Potter? And want a sorting hat or Hedwig of their very own. So, click on the link in our show notes barkbox.com/jakobstanley that’s Jakob with a “K” or go to our website jakobstanley.com and use the link provided to help support our pod and bring monthly dog joy right to your door. OH! And by using our link you get an additional month FREE! That's barkbox.com/jakobstanley.
01:09.150
NARRATOR
In October of 2011, 4 college students disappeared in the woods near Porter Township Pennsylvania while researching a documentary on children’s author Jakob Stanley. They remain missing to this day. Last month their recordings appeared online. In an effort to aid in the investigation, the families of those missing have agreed to release the following sound files. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes. Certain materials referenced in this podcast, including the published works of Jakob Stanley, are currently protected under U.S. copyright law and may be redacted. For legal reasons, some names have been withheld and voices altered. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants, and do not represent the official policy or position of the Iphigenia County Police Department of Porter Township Pennsylvania or its associates. This podcast contains adult themes and language. Listener discretion is advised.
02:16.875
PROFESSOR WHITAKER
Folder labeled: “014 Rough Files, Episode 14 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”
02:32.855
PODCAST INTRO SEQUENCE
NEWS ANNOUNCER
WN [BEEP REDACTED] TV New York.
MUSIC: [80’s NEWS INTRO THEME]
NEWS ANCHOR ‘83
If your child has been to a school book fair recently, chances are they came home with one of this author’s scary books-
MUSIC: [80’s SUNDAY TALK SHOW THEME]
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
Our guest’s first anthology leapt to the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list -
MUSIC: [LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW INTRO APPLAUSE]
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86
- Thank you. Thank you! Over the past few years, he has become a household name -
MUSIC: [PODCAST THEME]
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- Bridging the gap between Alvin Schwartz and Stephen King -
TV PREACHER
- The devil is among us, friends.
CONGREGATION
AMEN!
TV PREACHER
He’s among us, in the form of a writer. -
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
- The book might have struggled during it initial release in 1977, but now “Tell Me A Story: Under the Bed That’s Over My Head”, has skyrocketed -
ALSC COMMITTEE REP
- So many parent organizations complained that his work was too sophisticated for children-
TV PREACHER
- He has infiltrated your homes, and your children’s minds-
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- His second macabre anthology “Tell Me A Story: Moonless Sky and Other Friends” sold out from bookstores in mere minutes. Becoming a controversial -
NEWS ANCHOR ‘83
- Stanley's books ranked on the American Library Association’s “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books” from 1981-1993 -
TV PREACHER
- Stanley’s books promote disobedience, violence and the occult! Lord have mercy -
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- The 3rd volume in his “Tell Me A Story” collection “The Floor That Creaks, the Closet That Speaks and the Tip Toes That You Walk On” was released in 1986 to mass acclaim -
ALSC COMMITTEE REP
- All that fussing, just made his work more popular -
TV PREACHER
- Check your children’s rooms, check their bookshelves, check their back-packs! -
YOUTUBER
- I do think his final book, released in ‘99, “TMAS: The nightmare, The Dream and the Places Between,” was by far his best work.-
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- His work has been described as “subversive” and “dark,” I simply describe it as genius.
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
- It is my pleasure to introduce -
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86
- Please welcome -
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- Ladies and gentleman, please welcome -
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
- Jakob Stanley.-
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86
- Mister Jakob Stanley.
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- Author, Jakob Stanley.
[Applause.]
MUSIC: [POD THEME SYNTH]
04:12.000
AVERY/NARRATOR
Little to nothing is known about the life of this elusive author. And since 1999 Jakob Stanley seems to have completely dropped off the face of the earth. Until a short two-line obituary appeared in a small town paper, over a year ago.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
From BOO Labs and Red Cup Media, I'm Tolen Reid -
AVERY/NARRATOR
And I'm Avery Fischer, this is TELL ME A STORY: THE TRUE LIFE OF JAKOB STANLEY.
SFX: The loud sound of a car crash comes in and immediately is cut off by a flash back.
CHUCK
We’ll have service when we get back on the interstate.
04:50.787RJ
Thank God.
TOLEN
My phone is at the ready!
AVERY
No. No phone for you, you drive.
TOLEN
No comment from you, you edit.
RJ
Does she have the memory card from this?
TOLEN
Yes, I just put a new one in.
CHUCK
Good, we wouldn’t want to miss a word.
TOLEN
It’s a PODCAST, Chuck.
SFX: The sound distorts. The mic pops on, post car crash, the H4N sustained a bit of damage.
SFX: Tolen, RJ, Avery and Chuck begin coming to, inside the wrecked car. Broken glass tinkles with their every movement.
SFX: Tolen finds the H4N in the wreckage and grabs it.
TOLEN
Fuck.
SFX: Tolen and RJ slowly pull themselves out of the car. They both try to coax Avery and Chuck out of the totaled car.
RJ
Shit.
06:53.487
TOLEN
Avery...Avery.
AVERY
What?
RJ
Hey Chuck.
TOLEN
Come on out this side.
AVERY
What?
RJ
Chuck.
TOLEN
Come on, this way.
AVERY
What?
RJ
CHARLES.
CHUCK
No, I’m good.
TOLEN
Avery, please.
AVERY
Mom, stop it.
RJ
Charles, come on, buddy, have to get you out of here.
TOLEN
Avery.
AVERY
Be there in a second.
TOLEN
Come on.
AVERY
I’m comin’, I’m comin’.
TOLEN
That’s it.
SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.
SFX: Tolen helps Avery crawl across the seat and out of the car and on to the street.
RJ
Chuck, can you do me a favor, wiggle your feet for me. Good job. Come on. This way.
CHUCK
Okay.
SFX: RJ helps Chuck crawl across the seat and out of the car and on to the street.
AVERY
Oh, hey, it’s Chuck. How you doing?
CHUCK
I’m okay. You?
AVERY
I’m okay.
SFX: RJ pulls out a first aid kit from the car.
RJ
No, you’re not.
AVERY
Oh.
SFX: RJ riffles through the first aid kit.
RJ
Tolen, you-
SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.
TOLEN
I’m fine, really. Just in a little shock. Are they...
07:37.710
RJ
I’m about to try to find out.
TOLEN
Okay.
RJ
Can you find their water bottles?
TOLEN
Yeah, yeah.
SFX: Tolen goes to the trunk and starts looking for their water bottles.
RJ
You guys remember what just happened? ... Okay, I want you guys to do me a favor and Avery I want you to remember the word banana. You got it?
AVERY
Banana.
RJ
Chuck, I want you to remember the word gummy bear.
CHUCK
Gummy bear.
TOLEN
Check. Check...
SFX: Tolen talks quietly into the H4N while we hear RJ talk to Chuck and Avery in the background.
TOLEN (CONT’D)
Uh, the time is... uh, my phone is smashed... shit. Uh, okay... We have just had a slight car accident. A tree fell into the road, bisecting it. Uh, the brakes were hit a little late and the car fishtailed and swung around and the passenger side hit the tree. RJ is checking on Chuck and Avery right now.
RJ
Okay, good. Chuck, can you look at me? ... Okay, straight forward, now I’m gonna flash this... in your eyes really fast. Okay, good job. Avery, your turn. Can you look at me? Straight forward, now I’m gonna flash this in your eyes really fast, I know that was bright, I’m sorry. Okay, guys. Both of you, can you smile for me? Good. Now what were the words I told you to remember?
SFX: Tolen has grabbed the water and is standing behind RJ.
08:53.402
AVERY
Banana.
RJ
Good.
CHUCK
Gummy bear.
RJ
Good. Do you know where we are?
CHUCK
Bum-fuck nowhere.
AVERY
Porter Township.
RJ
Good. Chuck, what state are we in?
CHUCK
Pennsylvania.
RJ
Okay, do you guys remember what just happened?
AVERY & CHUCK
Car accident.
RJ
Alright, good. Now besides your-
SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.
CHUCK
Nauseous... and dizzy.
AVERY
Same... and my head hurts.
CHUCK
Same.
SFX: Tolen passes RJ the water. She gives it to Avery and Chuck.
09:20.937
RJ
Okay, drink some water. I’m gonna talk to Tolen really quick.
AVERY
Wait. Are you guys hurt?
TOLEN
I’m fine, Avery. Just a little banged up.
RJ
I’m okay, don’t worry.
AVERY
Okay.
CHUCK
[Yawn] Thank you.
RJ
And don’t let each other fall asleep, okay? No sleep right now.
AVERY
Okay.
CHUCK
[Yawning] Okay.
RJ
CHUCK.
CHUCK
Okay, but only cause you asked nicely.
RJ
Come on, let’s see what you did.
TOLEN
Do we have to?
RJ
Go!
SFX: RJ and Tolen walk to the other side of the car to inspect the crash.
09:55.737
TOLEN
Holy shit.
RJ
Well this won’t be driving any time soon.
TOLEN
I was afraid of that. Should we try to move it? - Or not. That was stupid. Stupid thing... to say. You really alright?
RJ
Yeah, I think so. Their side of the car bore the brunt of it.
TOLEN
Are they okay?
RJ
They got their bells rung. Avery has a black eye and Chuck is cut up from the window, but I think they’re gonna be okay. We have to get them to a hospital, though.
TOLEN
But, they’re okay? Oh, thank God. I was worried there for a second.
RJ
Oh, no. You should still be worried. They are definitely concussed. They need a hospital.
TOLEN
I mean, but they were talking and everything?
RJ
Sure they’re talking, but that doesn’t matter. Do you see a CT scan around here? MRI? - They have the pupils of Anime characters right now. Fucking hell Tolen, you could have killed us!
10:43.950
TOLEN
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean... I’m sorry.
RJ
How in the hell did this big ass tree come down?
TOLEN
There’ve been a lot of storms?
RJ
FUUCCCK. ... Okay, so how far of a walk is it to Wallace’s from here?
TOLEN
A mile or so? It’s quicker to cut straight through the woods.
RJ
Of course it is. Okay, I’ll go. You watch them.
TOLEN
Me and Chuck are the only ones that know how to get to Wallace’s from here?
RJ
Fine, then you go.
TOLEN
What? Like by myself?
11:27.537
RJ
I will fucking smack you.
AVERY
You both should go.
TOLEN
Shit, you scared me.
AVERY
Sorry.
RJ
No, Avery, I really think you should have someone here, just in case.
CHUCK
Really, we’re better. Not walk a mile better, but way better. Think a lot of that was shock.
AVERY
And I would feel less nervous if you both went. It’s starting to get dark and we all know about Tolen’s sense of direction.
RJ
Are you sure?
CHUCK
Yes. Please go, we’ll be okay.
RJ
It’s getting cold.
AVERY
The car isn’t on fire or anything, right? We’ll just sit inside and wait.
CHUCK
It’s not a big deal. And who knows someone might come by-
AVERY
- OH SHIT, MY LAPTOP!
SFX: Avery skitters to the driver’s side door and dives inside.
RJ
Watch out for the... glass.
12:09.912
TOLEN
She’s feeling better.
AVERY
Thank you, Jeebus!
TOLEN
We good?
SFX: Tolen walks to the driver’s side door as Avery opens her laptop and beings typing. Tolen absentmindedly places the H4N on the roof of the car.
AVERY
Yes, just checking the drive... now... aaannnd.... YES! We are good!... Oh, I was in the middle of...
SFX: Avery trails off, putting on her headphones and closing the car door.
TOLEN
Okay, so she’s fine.
RJ
That tells us nothing. Bitch could edit with her hair on fire.
CHUCK
What about the walkies? If you take one and we have one, you can harass us the entire time you’re gone.
RJ
Right, they’re in the trunk.
TOLEN
I’ll get them.
SFX: Tolen goes to the trunk to grab the walkies.
RJ
OH, and grab the bear spray.
TOLEN
Right!
RJ
Pinky swear you’re okay?
CHUCK
Pinky swear.
SFX: Tolen comes back with the walkies and bear spray.
TOLEN
Here’s your walkie.
SFX: He hands one walkie to Chuck and the other one to RJ.
TOLEN
And, your bear spray.
SFX: Tolen passes Chuck a can of bear spray.
CHUCK
Oh goodie.
RJ
Hey, Avery.
AVERY
What?
RJ
Fuck it. - Okay. Let’s go.
CHUCK
We’ll be here.
SFX: Chuck sits down in the backseat.
13:04.437
RJ
Gonna randomly beep you.
CHUCK
Oh, but I was planning on taking a nap.
RJ
That’s not funny you little shit.
CHUCK
But, I’m so ‘sweepy.
RJ
Asshole.
CHUCK
Get the hell out of here. Go.
SFX: Chuck shuts her door and Tolen and RJ take off into the night.
CHUCK
Maybe, I’ll just rest my eyes... for a second.
SFX: Suddenly, there is a rapping on the window that causes Chuck to jump.
CHUCK
GOD WHY!
TOLEN
Sorry, sorry. I almost forgot. Avery, ah, here is the memory card from the car ride, before the crash. I put a new one in the H4N when we came to.
AVERY
Ooooooh, you have a recording of the crash?
TOLEN
Hopefully.
CHUCK
What is wrong with you people?
TOLEN
Might wanna check on it, and make sure it wasn’t damaged. Oh right, and the one that’s in there now. Not sure if it is working properly.
AVERY
Where is it?
SFX: Tolen looks and grabs the H4N from the car roof and passes it to her. It rustles around in their hands.
TOLEN
Uh. Here.
13:52.437
AVERY
Do you want to take it with you?
TOLEN
No, keep it here with you. Dump the cards and start recording again.
CHUCK
We’ve been concussed and you’re giving her an assignment?
AVERY
Oh, if they take us to a real hospital, we’ll be able to upload there. Perfect.
CHUCK
Unbelievable.
AVERY
What will you guys use to record?
TOLEN
Uh... I’m gonna have to convince RJ to use her phone. Mine is smashed.
RJ
Tolen! Come on, it's getting dark!
SFX: Tolen starts trotting over to RJ.
AVERY
Good luck.
TOLEN
Stay safe you two. Help is on the way.
SFX: Tolen slightly trips over his own feet on that last line.
CHUCK
We’re so gonna die out here.
SFX: The H4N is cut off.
SFX: The mic pops on, it cuts in and out a few times. The H4N sustained a bit of damage from the crash.
CHUCK
Check, check, check. ... Check, check check...
SFX: The H4N beeps.
CHUCK
This thing is on its last legs-
SFX: The mic quickly cuts out and back on.
14:46.400
CHUCK
Well, hello there lovely listeners. It has been roughly 30-40 minutes since RJ and Tolen skittered into the dark. RJ stopped buzzing us about 10 minutes ago, so either they are out of range or already with Wallace. Avery-
SFX: Avery is typing in the background.
AVERY
What?
CHUCK
- And myself have been waiting patiently in the car for their return.... Well, I have been waiting patiently, Avery-
AVERY
Huh?
CHUCK
-Has been in full-tilt edit mode, apparently unaffected by the fact that we are sitting in a wrecked car in the middle of the road. I’m not even sure she knows I am still here.
AVERY
Not unaffected, just unhealthily using work as a coping mechanism for emotional avoidance.
15:31.275
CHUCK
Sorry, didn’t think you could hear me.
SFX: Avery pulls off her head phones.
AVERY
I recognize we are sitting in a wrecked car in the middle of the road after a pretty decent car accident... But in this moment, this is the only thing I have any control over, so...
CHUCK
Fair.
AVERY
You wanna hear the car crash?
CHUCK
Uh, fuck no.
AVERY
Oh... I just thought it was interesting. ... Hey, right before the crash, you guys were talking about the illustrations from the unpublished manuscript. Do you remember that?
CHUCK
Not really?
AVERY
How the FMC folio was - wait let me just... here.
CHUCK
I’ll listen but -
AVERY
I promise, I’ll cut it off before it happens. Okay?